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Hannah Torres

Jun 10, 2015
03:23

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I can sense the passion in this proposal, yet the written proposal may need some refinement if your aim is to have it selected for presentation at the MIT Solve Conference. For instance, this proposal would be much stronger if your introduction concisely stated the purpose, aims and measurable objectives of the proposed implementation actions. I see in your title that you believe dams to be the largest threat to climate change, so perhaps you could hone in on this and explain (with support from academic literature) how exactly dams are threatening phytoplankton habitat and what specific actions could be taken to solve this problem. Also, the 'actions' you propose should be specific tasks or actions people can take to solve a specific problem, backed up with support from relevant literature. Currently the items listed in the actions section resemble a compilation of facts (interesting, but not all relevant to the impact of dams on climate change). Remember to stay focused on a particular overall goal when considering what actions could help shift attitudes and behavior to lead to more favorable outcomes. Good luck!
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