Please find below the
“The same old-world system that is fuelling our global crises is also suppressing our abundance of whole-systems solutions!” This pitch is cast in the negative. Instead, I would suggest revising it to frame the opportunity and solution you intend to provide. This proposal depends very much on the charisma and leadership qualities of "Yan." So, give us a very good picture of this person. Testimonials from coworkers or students might help us understand his ability to lead a transformative and impactful movement. For example, create a YouTube so we get to know him. Is this a one-man show, or is there a team? "For over 20 years Yan has been exploring and experimenting with alternative living and conscious collective evolution. He practices and teaches yoga, meditation and permaculture & ecovillage design...."
While I appreciate the general concept of paradigm shift, there aren't enough details here on project costs, execution and impacts to advance to the next round.
This proposal is largely theoretical and doesn't go into specifics of what would be created, how it would be deployed, maintained, or what the projected impacts would be.
Although I can sympathize with the overall vision, the proposal is weak in terms of what they will actually do and how they shift the attitudes of people into the actions proposed.
Aug 16, 2017
I like the overall feel of the proposal, and the focus on actions to move forwards rather than just lamenting about the state of things.
I would greatly appreciate it if you expanded on how some of the proposed events would work (e.g. the meditation or an art fair). How would these be designed? What exactly would you hope to get out of them? What would be the metrics for evaluation?
The proposal also feels a bit weak when addressing costs and does not address how to deal with the inevitable push-back that such a movement will get from vested interests once it builds momentum.
Best of luck!
Aug 17, 2017
Thank you for your reflections Alexander.
For the costs we would initially approach transformational philanthropists and foundations. Through unifying collectives from all sectors of human innovation, ancient wisdom and conscious evolution we will attract the support of high profile grassroots leaders and progressive celebrities all the way to Oprah Winfrey and the Dalai Lama. It is this open and solutions-oriented unification that simultaneously addresses the current limitations of funding, public exposure, public support and the inevitable push-back from the powers-that-be/were. We can know clearly anticipate and recognise the strategies for sabotage, infiltration and co-opting.